My worst thing

I stare at the reddish brown mound lying dully in my palm. I feel nothing but guilt. Dirty. I feel like I have lost my innocence that I have had since I was a small child. I feel numb inside as if I were wearing shorts in winter. I feel lost and isolated, as if nothing will ever be the same again. While I walk away from the scene I can hear the screams of pure agony and pain behind me. I want to turn around and undo what I have just done. I can not. The screams echo through my hollow mind, conscious, and heart; forever printed on my unflinching memory. Every step I take leads me further away from my crime; away from all of the skeptical stares and rightly accusations. I fight the tears that start to form. I feel as if those tears are the last part of my innocence breaking free from its cruel, evil, and diabolical animal they call their Master. I take a quick glance over my left shoulder. Utter chaos. Pure mayhem as if the gates of hell have opened. People running everywhere, trying to find out who could do such a senseless thing. I feel something in my stomach sink faster than the titanic. I rush behind a dumpster and puke. The flavor of regret overtaking, and color of remorse streams out my mouth. I look at the puddle before me. Chunks of food mixed with chunks of my morals. Now I am truly empty. In ten years this incident will be completely forgotten, and in ten years no one will care about what I have done; but not I. I will live everyday of my remaining life with this hanging over my shoulders, stuck on my mind like an unwanted tattoo. I have been tainted for life. Corrupted. Rotten. If only I could go back to that March 17, 2003 at 2:47 pm and silence that little voice in my head that told me to do it. Told me it’s the easiest and fastest way. That I would be a rebel without a cause, a hero to all. Unfortunately I can not. I had made my choice and now I must live with it until my death, cursing that action still. The world will never be the same. I will never be the same. Why did I steal that candy bar?